Roger's Guide To Species Anatomy
by Ax The Andalite
Summary: Note: a lot of this is theories, and the father thing is canon incase if you did not know, a lot of this is canon, cover image drawn by me. Rated T for safety. Have an adventure with Roger! in this several chapter fanfiction learn all about his mysterious and solitary species, and learn all of his secrets, come on, it will be fun, you know you want to!
1. Chapter 1

note: a lot of this stuff is theories but some are canon. No critiszing me on this I know they could not be true they are THEORIES, no saying "thats not true" because I will ignore the post.

"Hello, I'm Roger, Good evening, and welcome to a guide to my anatomy," says Roger, fake smile on his face, you can almost tell it is. "So the number 1 thing about my species is the sharp teeth and the long snake-like tounge." he smiles, this time it looks real. "Well, I will tell you this, the teeth are for eating a lot of stuff on my homeplanet, the food there is scarce because of the harsh cold so thats a big part of why. And the tounge, well, its for smelling, like a snake, and as you can see, I have no visable nose on my face, so yeah, pretty useful." he frowns. Then continues, "Alright I bet you are wondering about my homeplanet, I miss it alot." he sighs, then says "Well, its a cold, desolate wasteland, our species has a hard time surviving, but we can, we are warm blooded, so that helps." he then sighs, and says "Well there is not too much food there, so its kind of diffucult, its a nice place, humans woulden't be able to survive there."

"Alright, I have to answer a few more questions, so let me continue," he says, smiling fakely yet again. "So first off, why do we eat our fathers?" he says, he smiles for real thinking of that. "Well okay, so the oldest sibling needs to eat the father, food is scarce, and the father at this age is the only thing we can eat, please don't call me gross for this its not considered canniballism where we are. The other siblings, if any, will most likely die and or have a low chance of survival once the father is eaten. Lucky for me, I was the oldest sibling." He says. "Ugh you know what? I am not gonna answer any more questions as of now, I don't want to pretend to smile, its annoying, so see you until then!" he says


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, I think it's time for a sub-plot." Roger says.

 **-Setting in the smith household-**

"Oh my god! Dad, today we had to gym and it was super hard!" yells Steve. "Well, Steve, i'm going to teach you how to be a man," says Stan.

 **-plot quickly and abruptly ends-**

"No, no, no, no!" says Roger, frowning. "That plot is so overused, Stan trying to get Steve to be a man, just, just no. I guess we aren't going to have a subplot if thats all this fanfiction writer has... so shall we continue?" he then says. "Uhh, so where were we, I am really forgetful, I got drunk the other night, and forgot what to say..." Roger says, he sighs. "Oh oh okay, lets, um, see oh yes, we left off with the disturbing father fact. I am also not going to talk about my homeplanet, there will be something seperate for that." "So umm, how we can survive the cold of our homeplanet, yeah, I will explain this..." "The simplistic answer is we are warm blooded, okay?" he says. "How about we talk about the sixth stage? You know, the one where I kicked Stan, yeah. That was the one. Our species may be strange, but are humans not?" he laughs at his own joke. Hayley walks in, "Roger, have you seen my essay, it's due friday." she says. "Stop interupting my time in the spotlight!" yells Roger, beckoning for her to leave. Hayley backs out slowly. "Yeah, leave." he snaps. "alright, you know what, I can't think of anything else to say, god I have such a hangover, so just, just wait until next time when I can actually think of some more questions, okay? Feel free to ask questions about my species, though I have to say, I won't be to kind at answering them, because I am, afterall Roger..." he says.


	3. Chapter 3- Question from special guest!

**Credit for the first question: CIA Agent, the second answer is a theory made up by my sister, give her a big old round of applause! She has helped me with these theories.**

"Hey guys, I am back, here with some very strange questions..." Roger tilts his head, as if reading a paper. "So this one is asked by a guest, CIA Agent, are you Stan? Or are you one of those imbeciles trying to dissect me?" he says, laughing at his own joke. "Anyway here is what they asked: Why does the male give birth instead of the female? Is your planet a complete oposite of earth or something? XD" he sigh, and glares right at the camera. "Reasonable enough. Alrighty then, you really want to explain. Before I explain, what is the meaning of this XD?" he asks. Then sighs "Forget it, nevermind." he then continues. "That is an innacurate question, the truth is, within are reproductive stage, anything can have a baby, not just the males, females, a human, whatever. But the truth is, also, there is more males of our species, so I... I guess that they -get to have the babies the most? I don't know, -shrug- it's never happened to me before." He shrugs off the question. "But yes, I hope that explains."

"Wow Roger, you actually answered that in a kind way." laughs Francine. "Shut up, Francine, just be quiet, I have one more question for today." says Roger. He says "This question is something to clarify what the jerk (Aka Stan) always makes fun of me about. It's why does my species have short legs and long arms." he sighs, "Jerk..." he mutters, then says "It's said because we need to pick up stuff off the floor? Right?! Since my species can't really bend down, geesh, I am not going to continue answering this any further." he says.

He smiles, "Anyway, if you want to ask any questions about my species, post in the reviews, and hopefully I will have an answer, don't expect sugar coated answers though. If your question has to do with sex, then I will not sugar coat it."


End file.
